The first weeks were hard and my grandmothers made sure we were aware of their abandonment feelings. However, their passionate disdain transformed into a secretive fondness; then they asked us if they could go on the weekends.

When we were told the staff all helped out with the patients, that everyone from administration to maintenance knew each patient's care plan, and that patients were considered family, we knew we'd fount the right place.

One thing we did not do so well was thinking ahead about the possibilities. If we had talked about it, we might have chosen not to have [my mother] undergo the hip operation and simply allowed her to remain bed-ridden with hospice pain medication.

This is critical to a program...Ask if the staff members have any certifications, continuing education credits, or other training that demonstrates they understand the unique needs of this patient population.

Give them time to bond with their new housemates and caregivers. Don't take them out every day. Instead bring food, [and] sit down to dinner with everyone.